It’s sad isn’t it…
The idea of being a sensitive person seems to have a received a reputation over the years as a sign of weakness.
But I believe this is unfair because it’s simply not true.
How many times in your life have you been told to “harden up” or “don’t get so emotional”?
Why is it, that society has mistakenly classed sensitivity as a flaw, or something that should remain hidden?
When in fact showing sensitivity can be a real strength!
It allows you to experience sounds, feelings, even the presence and mood of other people much more intensely than the average person.
A highly sensitive person is able to simply walk into a room of people and instantly pick up the “vibe” of the room. They can easily feel whether the atmosphere is tense or energetic, sad or peaceful. Then they are able to adapt accordingly – isn’t that a great skill to have?
But sadly I used to feel like my sensitivity was something I should have to control.
It would frustrate me when I wasn’t able to separate out my emotions from the world around me.
For example, in the middle of an argument, if I got too worked up I would just start crying. I couldn’t help it! Then for some reason the person I was arguing with would take me less seriously.
Or if I walked into a room and saw someone else was crying – I would get upset too!
And it frustrated me so much because I saw this as a weakness that I couldn’t control.
After years of living in a world where crying is something you should be embarrassed about, something that you should only do in private where no one can see you, no wonder I felt this way…
But I’d like to change that.
Because a wise man once told me that sensitivity is not a weakness – it is a strength!
The ability to feel deeply within yourself and for others is something that I believe we need more of in this world.
So what are some of the signs that you too are a highly sensitive person? And why is that a good thing?
The following are the most common qualities that highly sensitive people possess. See how many apply to you…
- You feel things very deeply – Your prime concern in life is how you feel. You communicate with yourself and the world based on how things feel to you. You can have very high-highs and very low-lows because of your ability to feel things so deeply.
- You avoid confrontation – You do not like confronting situations (particularly arguments) and you will often go to extreme lengths to avoid them because they make you feel uncomfortable.
- You sometimes need a ‘Blue Cave’ – When life throws you a curveball, you retreat deep into your shell – we call this going into your ‘Blue Cave’. Small things (in your own life and other people’s lives) can have a big impact on you. Sometimes you just need to take some time out for yourself and repair in your cave until you are ready to come out (this can be both physically and mentally).
- You care about other people’s feelings – You like to feel good and just as importantly you like to make other people feel good too. When someone else is upset or angry, you are easily affected by their feelings and want to try help make them feel better.
- You take longer to make decisions – Because of your high sensitivity your way of processing information is by converting it into sensations and feelings. You need time to see how you feel about something before making a decision. As a highly sensitive person it is important to follow your feelings when making any decision because your true feelings are never wrong.
- You’re crushed by bad decisions – If you don’t follow your true feelings or you’re rushed into making a decision and end up going along with something that didn’t quite feel right and it turns out to be a poor choice, you take it much harder than most.
- You take things personally – Your ability to feel so deeply can influence you to take things personally. When someone makes a negative comment that others may just brush off, you will tend to take it on board and make it meaningful. This can either have a negative effect of making molehills into mountains, or it can help you make appropriate changes because you take things seriously.
- You are very polite – Your heightened awareness of other people’s emotions makes you highly conscientious. You pay close attention to how your behaviour affects other people and have the good manners to show for it.
- You are great at helping others – As a highly sensitive person your ability to help others has no end. You are often the one that other people turn to when they need a hand to hold or a sympathetic ear. However, because of your ability to tune in to how others feel, those others, especially family and friends, tend to offload their emotional problems and overload you. This is why it is important for you to learn how to cope with your own feelings or you can become overwhelmed.
So why is being highly sensitive a good thing?
As a highly sensitive person (or in our terms, a Blue Dot), you are an ultra-sensitive sensory machine.
Through your sensitivity you can learn quickly from your own experiences.
You unconsciously and naturally organise every part of your life so that you experience comfortable feelings.
You are generally a lovely person to be around as you like to make others feel good.
Your ability to recognise and understand emotions in yourself and others allows you to use this awareness to manage your behaviour and relationships.
When you are comfortable with the people around you, you will communicate nicely and with much humour.
Your prime needs are to feel good and be in places and with people that promote good feelings.
But as a highly sensitive person you may not feel right about life if you are influenced by society’s distorted view on sensitivity.
The most important thing for you to learn is how to appreciate your own strong sensitivity.
As a highly sensitive person you experience things more intensely than others. Your strong emotions are easier to identify (and use to your benefit) than most.
This can help you communicate effectively because you don’t just hear the words coming out of other people’s mouths, you also pick up on their feelings and catch on to subtleties in gesture and tone.
There are trade-offs, however, as strong emotions that are left unchecked can have disastrous consequences.
As a highly sensitive person you must learn how to differentiate your own feelings from those of others.
You must learn to stop others from dragging you away from your heart and into your head because your true feelings are never wrong.
Like many things in life, being a highly sensitive person can be both a blessing and a curse. It all depends on what you make of it.
If you would like to learn more about how to bring out the strength of your sensitivity, I would love to have a chat so feel free to contact me here.