So much time is spent trying to predict the future.
- Which party will win the Federal election?
- Will the housing market crash?
- When will I get a pay rise?
My Dad’s advice was always not to worry about the future, or the past, just live in the now.
He said, “Son, don’t count on a future value of something, only know that when someone offers you money for something, then that is the true measure of its worth (in monetary terms that is).”
Communication also has value, but too often it is future focused.
“They need to do something about…”
I will leave you to fill in the missing word. And don’t get me started on the mystical ‘they’!
I have spent too much of my life working through scenarios, in my head, about a future conversation I needed to have.
And you know what? Mostly, these future conversations never went the way I intended.
So now I have a simple approach; I ‘dance’ in each and every conversation I have.
What this means is that my conversations only exist when I am talking with another person.
To be truly effective, I need to present myself to that other person and fully understanding how they are interpreting my words. Then I can ‘dance’ or respond to them in the way they need me to in order to fully understand my words.
But as with dancing, you need to fully understand why your partner dances the way they do.
Our DOTS training teaches you to fully understand why people think and act the way they do. The result is you then KNOW exactly how your words are being interpreted by the people you converse with.
Just like instinctively anticipating your partners next dance move.
It is important to note that all conversation has value, but that value can differ depending on the person and the meaning they attach to it.
For example – a simple statement like “I love you” can have immense value to one person, or little value to another.
Which leads to my final question,
“What value will someone put on the words you say to them?”