Did you know that as human beings, we’re not naturally designed to all get along?
Quite the opposite, in fact.
That’s because we’re all wired differently.
Surprisingly, 3 out of 4 people you meet every day are likely to have different communication styles (different DOTS) to you.
What that means is that we all speak differently, process information differently, and react differently to each other.
“The world would be a dull place if we were all the same. Embrace the differences.” – Rosalynn Carter.
Now, although our differences are a good thing, they produce some significant challenges when it comes to understanding and connecting with each other.
It’s no wonder why so many:
- relationships break down,
- teams turn toxic,
- families fall apart, and
- businesses go under.
We’re all fighting uphill battles.
As we grow up and we learn to communicate, we start to stumble through conversations that turn into arguments, while never really learning the reasons behind why people think and act the way they do.
If only we were taught tools for understanding each other, what makes us ‘tick’, and what we need from each other to flourish in our relationships.
How about we change that?
To help you navigate the maze of complexities that are our relationships with others, here are some tips for understanding and getting along with the 4 communication styles (DOTS) we each use.
Purple DOTS (Visionists)
People high in Purple are future-focused, and they talk a LOT. That’s because they interpret information audibly (they think out loud). So, you’ll hear them coming before you see them. They just want the big picture, so don’t bore them with all the details. They’re optimistic and energetic (some might think they’re OTT), but if you want to get along with them, get excited about their ideas and let them do most of the talking. The most important thing to this type is being creative, seeing possibilities, and always having new challenges. They are excellent starters but poor finishers.
Yellow DOTS (Pictorialists)
Those high in Yellow are organised and require ALL the detail. They need plenty of visual detail from you because they interpret information by creating complex, colourful pictures inside their head (they see things in pictures). So, if you don’t give them enough detail, it’s like they have a puzzle with missing pieces. They like to be neat and tidy – so much that they will rearrange a picture if it’s not hung straight on a wall. If you want to get along with them, ALWAYS be on time (timing is very important to them), keep your promises, don’t mess with their schedule, give them enough information and then time to process it into pictures.
Red DOTS (Rationalists)
People high in Red are logical thinkers who get straight to the point. They won’t beat around the bush, they’re blunt and they’ll just tell you how it is. Red DOTS interpret information by thinking things through with the voice in their head, then they’ll give short, sharp answers. They require the facts, (the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth). If you want to get along with a Red DOT, NEVER lie to them. They can hold a grudge and are unlikely to forgive you. Try not to get emotional, just give them the facts in bullet-point style, then let them get on with their task.
Blue DOTS (Sensationists)
Those high in Blue are caring, productive, responsible and easily hurt. They process information by converting it into sensations and feelings “how do I feel about that?” If you want to get along with a Blue DOT, you should never threaten or intimidate them. Never attempt to make a fool of them or cause them to feel stupid. Keep your conversation friendly. Don’t push them to answer your questions should they choose to be quiet – they are usually processing thoughts and waiting to get a feeling for what is being said. Confrontation or a manner that is rude and insulting simply closes them down (unless they’re pushed so far that they’ll retaliate, then probably feel bad about it later).
If you’ve made it this far, awesome!
And this is only a taste of what I can share with you about our unique styles that make us all so beautifully different.
If there’s one thing you take away from this blog, I hope it’s this:
We’re all different, and that’s a good thing.
It just takes a bit of learning and effort to understand each other and how we each like to be treated in order to get along better.
You’ll now see that it’s no wonder getting along and connecting with others can sometimes feel like you’re fighting an uphill battle.
But what if these differences were not barriers, but opportunities for better understanding?
The tools you’re learning through these blog posts are providing you with insights into how we interact and connect with each other, as well as useful ways to break down barriers that cause misunderstandings.
By understanding and appreciating the colours of our communication styles (our DOTS), we’re opening doors to empathy, cooperation, and a deeper understanding of one another.
It’s like discovering a hidden treasure chest in the maze of human connections.
Talk soon,
Melissa
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