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Which DOT Are You? Find Out Today!

There are four basic Precognitive Natures or Communication Styles. We call them DOTS. You have all four natures within you, one of which is dominant throughout your life. Each nature has its own name and unique characteristic. 

They are easy to identify and are really useful to understand in personal relationships and in business situations because being able to spot someone’s “DOTS” gives you an enormous ability to enhance your relationships and deepen your connections with those you work with and care about.

purple-dotPurple DOT


Are you a BIG picture thinker? Are you imaginative, energetic and great at coming up with new ideas?


Yellow DOT


Are you always on time, realistic, and organised? Do you like physical symmetry, and looking good?




Do you need the facts (the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth)? Do you hate being lied to?


Blue DOT


Are you a friendly, highly empathetic but easily hurt person who needs time to trust their gut feelings?


What Is DOTS?

Have you ever wondered why some people are easier to talk to than others? Perhaps you would like to be better at tackling challenging conversations with difficult people? Or maybe, you just wonder why some people are the way that they are, and why they think and act in different ways to you? Most of us have had times in our lives where our communication was misinterpreted or misunderstood. When we understand how our communication is received and processed by the recipient, we become more effective in our work. This is why we offer DOTS Precognitive Communication training.

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How To Communicate Successfully In A Crisis

How To Communicate Successfully In A Crisis

Crisis = panic, right?

When it comes to toilet paper apparently so, but it doesn’t have to.

To help people get through these tough times, keep stress low and reduce arguments with our family, friends and colleagues, we’ll be posting some free and helpful tips regularly for those looking to make the most of their time at home and learn something useful along the way.

This weeks’ tip is about learning to speak someone else’s language.

First of all, I’d like you to think about how you respond in a crisis…

Do you panic?

Or do you get frustrated with those who are panicking?

Do you figure ‘she’ll be right’ and let the rest sort it out?

Or do you jump into action immediately and start organising everything?

As you know us human beings are all a little different from each other (and that’s a good thing – if we were all the same life would be boring, right?)

Because of this though, we all react to crisis situations differently.

This often leads to frustration, arguments, break-ups, company disputes, political debates and worse.

But the thing is, our differences don’t have to be a bad thing.

What if, instead of panicking or getting frustrated, we learnt to understand our differences, work together and start to speak each other’s ‘language’?

Now when I say ‘speak each other’s language’ here I don’t just mean French or English, what I mean is that we all have different / preferred styles of communicating with each other, four different styles to be precise.

Think of them as like four different languages.

We call them the four coloured DOTS = Purple, Yellow, Red and Blue DOTS.

You have a fraction of all four DOTS within you, but you are more dominant in one of the DOTS than the other three.

So there is one communication style (one DOT) that you use most of the time when speaking to people. It comes natural to you, so you use it most of the time.

For example:

If you’re dominant in Purple DOT you’re more likely to talk, rather than listen.

If you’re dominant in Yellow DOT you process words into complex pictures inside your head in order to interpret what someone is saying.

If you’re dominant in Red DOT you won’t talk much, but when you do it will be in short sharp bursts (like bullet points).

If you’re dominant in Blue DOT you’ll talk more only if you feel comfortable with the person you’re speaking to.

As you can see, each DOT style is quite unique, so when it comes to connecting the dots to communicate successfully in a crisis, it’s quite important to understand where people are coming from (what their preferred communication style is) and how to speak ‘their language’.

How can you do this?

  1. Fit your own mask first
    What makes you tick? What is your communication style (your DOTS) and how does that colour all of your conversations with the people around you?
  2. Identify their DOTS
    What is their preferred communication style? You can learn to do this in less than 60 seconds of meeting them by paying attention to the way they’re dressed, certain words they use etc.
  3. Speak their language
    Address their needs, avoid pushing their buttons, and speak to them the way they want to be spoken to.

This is a valuable life skill to learn and something not enough people have.

So to help, here are some useful tips on how to connect with all four dots to communicate successfully in a crisis…

Purple DOTS often take the ‘she’ll be right’ attitude and will just wing it. They figure everything’s fine (until it’s not), and when it’s not, then they’ll deal with it. They’re future-focused people so they’re often ten steps ahead anyway and have already sorted what they need before they need it.

Need to plan ahead for what to do in a crisis? Get a Purple DOT involved!

Yellow DOTS are always super organised and have been planning for this their entire lives! They know where everything is, they have everything in order and if things go pear-shaped, they have the policies and procedures to let everyone know exactly what to do. They’re not happy their plans have been changed but they’ve done their research on what to do (and believe me, it’s thorough!).

Need to get things organised in a crisis? Get a Yellow DOT involved!

Red DOTS often want to step up and tell others what to do. They’re practical, hands-on, and just want to get stuff done (without all the fuss). They’re already coming up with a plan B in case they need it. They’ll set the rules they expect others to follow (if they would just listen!) and figure it’s not a drama or an issue until proven otherwise with facts.

Need factual data with a clear and practical approach in a crisis? Get a Red DOT involved!

Blue DOTS always focus on comfort and well-being. Is everyone ok? Does anyone need help? They’re already reaching out to those they care about so that they’re looked after and getting organised to make sure they have everything they need to be safe and comfortable.

Need a caring human being approach in a crisis? Get a Blue DOT involved!

If you’ve found this helpful, this is just the beginning.

If you’d like to know more about how to get yourself, your family or your staff up-skilled in tools of effective communication, send us a message to find out how we can help. Or take our free short quiz to find out what DOT you might be.

We have great online training options available for those unable to travel.

Otherwise keep checking back each week for more handy tips here on our website.

Stay safe everyone!

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Why Shopping Causes Arguments

Why Shopping Causes Arguments

Did you know something as simple as how you shop can cause arguments and impact your relationships?

The first thing my partner ALWAYS says to me when we’re heading to the shopping mall…

“Ok so, what are we shopping for today Melissa?”

“Ah, we need a new microwave.” I reply.

‘Great! (he says to himself in his head), So we’ll grab a microwave from the store and get out and I’ll be able to start working on my car by lunchtime.’

Meanwhile in my head… ‘Hmm I wonder if they have any of those new iPhones out yet, I’m keen to try them out and see if they’re worth the money? Oh, and our dining chairs are so bloody uncomfortable I wonder if they have any nice ones that are more spongey to sit on?’

This is how it starts…

I used to wonder why my partner and I would almost always end up fighting when we went shopping together.

Was it a male thing? He just hates shopping?

No – I know there are men who enjoy looking round the mall.

So, was it a money thing? He just doesn’t want to spend any money?

No – He’s incredibly generous and will often pay for things while we’re out.

So, what is it? Is it us? It must be…

We must not be ‘compatible’.

Dramatic, I know, but this is where my head would go every time we’d end up storming out of the mall after arguing about something as silly as a microwave.

It got to the point where we decided not to go shopping together anymore, it was just too stressful.

(A decision he was quite happy about might I add – me, not so much).

If only I knew what the real reason for our fighting was.

You see, what I didn’t realise was that we just have different communication styles.

What does that have to do with shopping you ask?

Well, our different communication styles (our DOTS), have different ways of going shopping or buying from people.

Purple DOTS = they can be frustrating to go shopping with if you want to take your time and look around because a Purple DOT knows what they want, buys it, then leaves.

Yellow DOTS = are almost the total opposite. They want to inspect everything precisely and in detail. Then they compare what they’re trying on with an image in their head of what’s in their wardrobe at home to make sure it matches.

Red DOTS = don’t like wasting time BUT they will invest time shopping if necessary, to get the right stuff at the best price. They’re bargain hunters.

Blue DOTS = like to feel everything. The material, how it fits, how they feel in it, it’s all about comfort for them. So, you’ll see them walking down the aisles touching all the materials as they go, and they will ONLY buy something if it feels good and is a comfortable fit.

Why does this matter?

Well, when I first learnt this during my training a light-bulb came on in my head.

That’s why we argued!

My partner was shopping in Purple, I was shopping in Blue and Red.

He was already 10 steps ahead of me. In his mind he knew what we needed, knew where to get it from and was already thinking about his next task for the day before we’d even entered the shop.

Purple DOTS can do this because they’re Visionists >> they’re future focused, always thinking about what’s next.

Whereas I was a bit more relaxed, enjoying being out and about and figured we may as well look around while we’re there so that I can try things out for myself.

It wasn’t anything personal – we were just in different shopping styles.

It wasn’t that we weren’t ‘compatible’, we just had different ways of doing things.

We had different priorities.

And that’s ok.

There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in this situation, there’s just ‘different’.

And once we learnt that, and understood how we each operate, we were able to talk about it and find what works for us.

That’s the ‘sweet spot’ in any relationship.

Understanding what the other person needs from you, what you need from them, and how you can work together better in order to succeed.

Learn about your styles = find your ‘win-win’.

Talk to us to find out how.

– Happy shopping!



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How To Get People To Listen

How To Get People To Listen

Ever get the feeling someone isn’t listening to you?

Sarah was having a conversation with her partner over dinner at their favourite local Italian restaurant the other night when she noticed his eyes kept drifting to the table across the room where a family were arguing loudly about who deserved that last piece of pizza.

She was trying to open up to him about how frustrated she was feeling having to deal with a particularly nasty colleague at work, but it seemed he wasn’t interested…

He wasn’t listening.

“How can I get him to listen to me?!”

I get asked this question a lot.

Which to be honest, I’m not surprised by because it’s a big pain point in so many relationships.

Feeling unheard, unappreciated or even used is something many of us face on a daily basis, whether it’s at home, at work, or with friends and family.

It’s more common than you think, and it often comes down to one simple but fundamental issue…

We’re all naturally precognitively biased.

What do I mean by that?

We each have a certain way of thinking, speaking and interpreting information from others, and we tend to assume that everyone else should be the same.

I mean, we know we’re all different (and that’s a good thing), but sometimes we forget that when we’re in the middle of an argument and the other person just isn’t getting what we’re trying to say.

It’s interesting because even though I coach my clients in this topic all the time, it’s something I must remind myself of daily.

You feel like you’re explaining yourself in the best way possible “I can’t put it any simpler!” so why can’t they understand that?!

But as it turns out, you’re explaining it in a way in which YOU understand perfectly, not the other person.

To put it simply – you’re speaking in your own style (your DOT) – not theirs.

And that’s where the problem lies.

It’s like we’re speaking different languages.

For example – imagine you can only speak and understand French, and I can only speak and understand English.


How well are we going to be able to communicate with each other?

Not very well, right?

We could try hand gestures, speaking louder, but nothing’s really going to work.

Well, not until one of us learns to speak the other persons’ language.

And that’s what we do.

We teach people a really simple way to know how to speak someone else’s language easily, so that they’re always heard and understood – no matter who they’re talking to, or how different they are.

Learn to speak the 4 languages (the four DOTS), particularly the ones you’re not fluent in, and watch how the world around you starts to react differently to the way you speak.

People start to listen to you more; they WANT to listen to you more because they like the way you’re talking.

People start to look up to you more because they’re in awe of how well you deal with others, and how well respected you are.

People want to have you around more because you’re a great people person – you get them!

Want to get people to listen to you?

Learn to speak their language. Talk to us to find out how.

Be heard, be understood.

Talk soon,


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The Law And The Low-Down On Workplace Communication

The Law And The Low-Down On Workplace Communication

Today myself (Melissa Grainger, CEO Inspire Affect) and the talented Eleanor Gregan, Solicitor at Davenports Harbour Lawyers have teamed up to bring you the law and the low-down on workplace communication.

Having worked with hundreds of people, teams and businesses from all levels (CEO to junior graduates), I have found that there is a clear and vital link between effective communication and a company’s overall success in any industry.

The importance of communication in the workplace is a topic that is often over-looked and highly under-valued, but it is actually the simplest and most effective way to avoid most problems that can crop up in any team environment.

What we’ve found is any problem, big or small, within a company, often seem to start with bad communication.

And the hardest part is – most people don’t realise there’s a problem in the first place.

We often assume that because we can speak, we can communicate well, and if someone doesn’t understand us, it’s their fault or it’s because they weren’t listening properly.

Have you got people on your team with whom you struggle to communicate with?

They always seem to take it the wrong way or just “don’t get it!?”

What if, it wasn’t them?

What if, it was simply that you aren’t speaking their ‘language’?

What if, you could slightly adjust the way you communicate with others in order to be heard and understood by anyone (no matter how different or ‘difficult’ they seem)?

Imagine for a moment being able to speak to individuals the way THEY like to be spoken to.

Imagine what that would do to the quality of your communication with EVERY person you work with.

Imagine how well respected you would become as a leader because you better understand those you lead.

How can you do that? I’ll get into that in a moment, but for now I’ll hand you over to Eleanor to give you the low-down on the law when it comes to workplace communication.

As employers, you have an obligation to act in good faith towards your employees.  What that means to each employee, and how each of your employees is affected by your actions (and inactions), can vary depending on an employee’s personality.

We recommend that business are better off using their legal team at the beginning of any employment relationship, whether that be preparing a legally compliant employment agreement, putting in place protective workplace policies or coaching managers on how to best to speak with their team members.  In our experience, this method proves much better than the “ambulance at the bottom of the hill” approach, when the employment issue has managed to spiral out of the employer’s control.

The law is very clear that whenever an employer is proposing to make a decision which may have an impact on the employee’s employment, then the employer must follow a procedurally fair and substantially justified process.  During this sort of process, communication is key.  The way that an employer communicates a proposal and/or a decision to an employee may have a significant impact on an employee… which may lead to the employee suffering some hurt and humiliation.  A term and a result that any employer should want to avoid!

There is a huge difference between being a compliant employer and a great employer.  Both my team at Davenports Harbour Lawyers and Melissa’s team at Inspire Affect can help you equip yourself with the tools so that you become a great employer.

Now that we’ve given you the law and the low-down, let’s look at solutions – what can you do right now to avoid many workplace problems simply by improving communication?

When speaking to businesses and business owners from all around the world the one common element that everyone says would help them and their teams is improved communication.

This is where we can help.

Introducing DOTS Precognitive Communication Training Workshops.

These workshops have been proven in hundreds of cases within Kiwi and Australian businesses to dramatically improve interpersonal relationships and increase the communication effectiveness of all levels of participants.

What exactly is DOTS Precognitive Communication Training?

Precognitive means before cognition, that is, before thought.

So what is Precognitive Communication and why is it a critical factor in our ability to communicate effectively?

Think of it as the study of the way we process our thoughts. Or as I like to put it – the art of quickly and accurately predicting someone’s likely thinking and behavioural strategies (why they think and act the way they do).

Why is this important to you?

The ability of knowing how someone wants to be spoken to (speaking their ‘language’), before you even start talking allows us to then be able to identify our own and others “preferred” method of thinking and communicating which gives us an unparalleled power in our environment.

Like they say though, with great power, comes great responsibility. Luckily for us, anyone who discovers this simply wants to share it with others because of the profound impact it has on their life.

Discover the power of Precognitive Communication with an in-house team workshop in your own office.

Enquire today to find out how we can help drastically improve communication in your workplace in just a few hours with a DOTS Team workshop.

If there’s one piece of advice I can leave you with today, it is to put your team and improving communication in your workplace as a priority.

Because how you and your team communicate with each other is vital to your overall success.

“The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don’t play together, the club won’t be worth a dime.” – Babe Ruth.

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How Your Struggle Can Actually Help You

How Your Struggle Can Actually Help You

Struggle – how it can actually help you…

Feeling frustrated that you’re not where you want to be in life yet?

Me too.

Want to change that?

Here’s some valuable advice that I’ve personally found has made a huge difference for me…

Be grateful for your struggle.

Embrace your frustration.

Sound counter-intuitive? Stay with me.

A wise person said to me the other day “I think struggle is the key to happiness.”

It was an interesting statement that I didn’t quite agree with, but it got me thinking.

I then asked the question – “How so?”

He said, “People who have things come easy to them don’t seem to really appreciate what they’ve got. They end up having all these ‘things’ but still feel depressed. I think if someone works really hard for something, and it’s a real struggle, when they eventually succeed, they feel like they’ve really earned it and that makes them feel good.”

Struggle is the key to happiness – there’s some truth to it, and yet I think that’s not quite all of it.

Yes when you feel like you’ve really earned something it does do more for your self-esteem and your happiness than just being given what you want.

But I think you can struggle at something, work really hard for it, eventually achieve it, and still not feel satisfied.

Why is that?

Tony Robbins nailed it when he said:

“Progress is the key to happiness.”

I think it’s more about feeling like you’re getting somewhere.

That you’re achieving something.

That you’re going forwards, not backwards in your goals.

That’s why I often feel frustrated when I’m not where I really want to be in life, because it feels like I’m not progressing quickly enough (or that my progress is so slow that I’m actually going backwards).

For example, when I wake up and I’ve put on weight on my journey to losing it.

Or when I earn or save less money than I did the month before.

It feels like I’m going backwards.

And that’s frustrating.

But I agree that it is important to be grateful for your struggle, because at least it means you’re trying.

It means whatever you’re doing isn’t easy, but you’re still giving it a go.

And nothing in this world worth having comes easy.

We don’t grow when things are easy. We grow when we face challenges.

Everything seems hard before it gets easy.

Remember the first time you ever went to the gym? How confusing the machines were? How challenging it all seemed?

Or the first time you rode a bike and fell off in the first few seconds?

But eventually you got the hang of it, and you started to see progress, and that felt good.

One of my favourite quotes is:

 “Do what’s hard and life becomes easy.”

And I think there’s some truth to that.

Overcoming struggle feels great.

It feels fulfilling.

Fulfillment – there’s the final piece of the puzzle.

I think real happiness comes from struggle, progress and fulfillment all together.

Because once you achieve what you’re working towards, if you don’t feel fulfilled, then you’ve kind of failed.

What was the point?

Every time you achieve something, you automatically move the goal post even further.

And if you don’t stop and celebrate your achievement, then you’ll be forever chasing a feeling you’ll never obtain.

Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.

So make sure to monitor your progress, celebrate your wins and then work towards your new goals.

Throughout the process when things get frustrating, remember to be grateful for your struggle, because it means you’re growing.

If you feel like it’s all too hard, just think that there’s always someone out there who has it worse than you, and would be grateful to have your kind of problems.

And just think – one day in 10 years’ time you’ll look back on your current struggle and feel grateful you got through it because it helped get you to where you wanted to go.

Be grateful for your struggle.


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The one day DOTS course was excellent value and my staff enjoyed the active participation. Through a blend…Rex Wright, Interlink Roads

DOTS has given me the tools to better understand how people think and better present and…Peter Bui, PB Web Development

Rex Wright, Interlink Roads


The one day DOTS course was excellent value and my staff enjoyed the active participation. Through a blend…Rex Wright, Interlink Roads

DOTS has given me the tools to better understand how people think and better present and…Peter Bui, PB Web Development
Rex Wright, Interlink Roads
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